he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
