The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
