dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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