What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
