Me. At least after what I've been through.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
