If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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