If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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