I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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