I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
