My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
