Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
