My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize