He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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