My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize