Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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