I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
