Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You're like the curious george of whores
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
