I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
