Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
