She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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