his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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