Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
