Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize