hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
