Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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