Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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