i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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