Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
