U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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