im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Drunk is not a location!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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