absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I need to stop coming to work sober
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
