Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
