found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
