I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize