My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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