It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
