is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
