Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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