I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
