You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
