is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize