i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
