Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
