Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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