I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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