these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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