Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize