So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
