I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
