Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
