I hate your face
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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