My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
