Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
