names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
