I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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