Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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