Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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