the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
