Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize