Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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