sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize