Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
