Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
