I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
