don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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