We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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