idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
