how can u be prego again
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
