he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Still dying that you shit outside
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
