Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
